Tag : Offal

Offal /13

Offal /13

by Gianluca Mercadante Polishing your banister – So… er… listen, do you… do you still do it? – Still do what? – You know, that thing. – What thing? – Polish your banister. – My what…?! – Banister! Wanking! Do you still wank? – Are you crazy? I’m married. – So am I, but what’s […]

Offal /12

Offal /12

 by Gianluca Mercadante Darling&Dear_Summer cinema – Darling? – Yes, Dear? – They’ve opened the summer cinema, Darling. – I thought it was late autumn, Dear, given how hot it is at the moment. – But… but… it’s never hot in late autumn! – Precisely my point, Dear. – I just don’t get you sometimes, Darling. […]

Offal /11

Offal /11

 by Gianluca Mercadante Eight years – Wotcha mate, how are you? Feels like a lifetime since we last spoke. – A lifetime…? It’s been about eight years. – That’s how old my daughter is. For her, eight years is a lifetime. – But I’m your friend, aren’t I, not your daughter’s. – Er, anyway… what […]

Offal /10

Offal /10

 by Gianluca Mercadante Darling&Dear_Aleppo   – Look Darling, wasn’t that lovely of George and Peter? – Is that all there is, Dear? – No, Darling, this is what George and Peter gave us for Christmas. – So what is it, Dear? The embodiment of their liposuction? – Why are you being so bitchy, Darling? I […]

Offal Christmas special 2015

Offal Christmas special 2015

 by Gianluca Mercadante – NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!! – Dear! – NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!! – Dear!!! For goodness’ sake, what’s happened…?! – I can’t believe it, it can’t be… oh God, it can’t be true!!! – What can’t be true, Dear, am I allowed to know? Before the neighbours get the police to come round, if possible. – Police? Police, […]

Offal /9

Offal /9

 by Gianluca Mercadante Anthologies A police officer stops me and asks me for my driving licence and vehicle registration certificate. He steps away, carries out the necessary checks with his colleague who has stayed by the police car, then returns and hands the documents back to me through my open window. – Have you got […]

Offal /8

Offal /8

For this provocative new episode of the series FRATTAGLIE (Offal), in addition to an illustration by our manuelaCh, we also have a special contribution by Silvia Trappa, regular reader of Frattaglie and protagonist of the issue number 10 of the monographic magazine of contemporary anomalies OR NOT which was presented on June 10th at the […]

Offal /7

Offal /7

by Gianluca Mercadante    Questionnaires 10:00am, post office. I’ve got a bill to pay and another type of payment to make. Both of these are classed as one type of service, which I select in order to get my customer number. Three people are in front of me. I wait. At twenty past ten, it’s […]

Christmas offal

Christmas offal

by Gianluca Mercadante Darling&Dear_Free – Darling, what are you going to get me for Christmas? – Dear, Christmas presents are supposed to be a surprise. – Darling, organising surprises when you’re married is a big mistake. If you use your debit card to pay for the present, for example, I get a text message telling […]

Offal /6

Offal /6

by Gianluca Mercadante   Love is a collaborative feeling – Darling, I have to talk to you. – Go ahead, light of my life. – That’s exactly it, I wanted to talk to you about light: I’ve noticed that your eyes don’t tend to light up. – I’ll have to get some camomile eye masks. […]

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